After the first violent outbreak of grief had in some degree subsided, Thames addressed him. The next morning she went out with her post-office savings bank-book, and telegraphed for a warrant to draw out all the money she had in the world. Something as yet unformulated within her kept her estranged from all these practical aspects of her beliefs. She frowned and gripped her hands about her knees very tightly. I know I am undeserving of your bounty; but if I were to tell you what hardships I have undergone—to what frightful extremities I have been reduced—and to what infamy I have submitted, to earn a scanty subsistence for this child's sake, —if you could feel what it is to stand alone in the world as I do, bereft of all who have ever loved me, and shunned by all who have ever known me, except the worthless and the wretched,—if you knew (and Heaven grant you may be spared the knowledge!) how much affliction sharpens love, and how much more dear to me my child has become for every sacrifice I have made for him,—if you were told all this, you would, I am sure, pity rather than reproach me, because I cannot at once consent to a separation, which I feel would break my heart. As if it were she, and not Melusine, who had been hurt by the imposters. He stared at her breasts while he touched them. We aren’t worth it.
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